Nowhere to Run

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What to expect

Brought to you by Penguin.

On the second oldest football pitch in the world, Jonathan Sayer stands atop a beer crate to address the assembled fans of Ashton United FC. As his initial optimism and disillusionment begin to slip through his fingers, the new co-chairman and co-owner (alongside his dad) starts to realise the scale of the challenge ahead.

Battling to keep the club afloat, a record number of games without a win sees hope turn to despair as Jonathan contends with a mutiny from a group of octogenarian supporters, constant battles with the local council and a star striker who arrives on crutches despite somehow passing his medical.

As the on-pitch form continues to deteriorate and rifts appear between him and his father, Jonathan begins to make some increasingly desperate decisions: dressing as a seven-foot robin in the local market in an effort to drum up larger crowds, sinking his savings into an ever spiralling wage bill and even contemplating bringing in a local priest to lift the 'Boxing Day Curse' by performing a late-night exorcism on the pitch.

Chronicling the euphoric highs and bitter disappointments of the less glamourous side of the beautiful game, Nowhere to Run is the hilarious, heart-warming tale of life in the hot seat of a non-league football club.

©2023 Jonathan Sayer (P)2023 Penguin Audio

Critics Review

A funny, heartwarming story, packed with memorable characters that you'll want to cheer all the way. Ave it!
Peter Kay
Beautifully written and engaging... funny, warm and entertaining. And stupid. Really stupid. I loved it!
MATT LUCAS
Eat your heart out, Sheikh Mansour.
Michael Calvin
Best thing I've read about Ashton and I was born there.
Justin Moorhouse
Chronicles, in hilariously painful detail, [Jonathan's] first season in charge of Ashton. A proper fish-out-of-water tale.
Sunday Telegraph
This heart-warming, genuinely funny little book is just the thing to lift the spirits.
Daily Mail
Bills, bailiffs and players locked in car boots: the life of a non-League chairman. A funny book.
The Times
A glorious chronicle of memorable highs, bitter disappointments and never-ending bills.
Mirror
Great fun.
talkSPORT Hawksbee and Jacobs
An entertaining romp about taking over and running an established Non-League club.
The Non-League Paper

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