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I Need You... Now Go Away! by Laura Dabney, MD

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I Need You... Now Go Away!

Publisher
John Murray Press
Publish Date
9 June 2026
Run Time
8 hours 21 minutes
Format
Audiobook
$13.95

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What to expect

The destigmatising and compassionate guide written from a psychiatrist's perspective on how to navigate relationships when you or your loved one has a personality disorder (PDO)

I Need You... Now Go Away! offers a powerful guide to understanding and transforming your relationship and step out of harmful push-pull cycles. Whether you're struggling with a loved one's behaviour - or recognizing patterns in yourself - this book helps you make sense of what's really going on beneath the surface.


๐Ÿ’ญย MYTH: "Personality disorders are frightening and negative."
๐ŸŒžย Truth: "PDOs are patterns of behavior that keep people at arm's length from those they care about... The difference is that people with PDOs consistently do things that disrupt their relationships, whether at home, work, or elsewhere. Their behavior gravely impacts a major area of their life."ย 


๐Ÿ’ญMYTH: "People with personality disorders cannot be treated."
๐ŸŒžย Truth: "With the right therapy, many people with PDOsย are treatable. Being diagnosed with one is not a death knell. It does not have to be for life. PDOs are learned, self-protective behaviors that can be unlearned. Most of the patients I treat learn to be in healthy, even thriving, relationships."


๐Ÿ’ญย MYTH: "It's impossible to have a meaningful relationship with someone with a personality disorder."ย 
๐ŸŒžย Truth:ย "It's a matter of addressing unconscious fears around closeness and distancing. Many of my patients improve existing relationships or enter intimate relationships for the first time. It takes awareness, willingness, diligence, trust, and support, but, in many cases, it can be done."

ย 

With a foreword by bestselling author Jed Diamond (founder of The Good Men Project), Dr. Laura Dabney takes you inside the psychiatrist's office, revealing real clinical observations, treatment approaches, and practical strategies you can apply in your own life. For almost twenty-five years, Dr. Dabney has seen patients with personality disorders and has been featured in HuffPost, US News and World Report.

Inside, youโ€™ll discover:


  • How to recognize destructive relationship patterns and interrupt them

  • A clear, non-stigmatizing look at seven different personality disordersโ€”beyond just narcissism, sociopathy, and borderline traits

  • How people with these patterns think, feel, and behaveโ€”and why

  • Practical tools to rebuild trust, connection, and emotional safety

With the right insight and guidance, you can break free from repeating cycles, build healthier connections, and finally experience the kind of lasting intimacy you've been searching for.

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Details

Author
Laura Dabney, MD
Narrator
Lisa Rost-Welling
Duration
8 hours 21 minutes
Release Date
9 June 2026
ISBN
9781399835244
Format
Audiobook
Publisher
John Murray Press
Genre
Personality traits / Personality types, Applied psychology, Soft skills and dealing with other people

Synopsis

The destigmatising and compassionate guide written from a psychiatrist's perspective on how to navigate relationships when you or your loved one has a personality disorder (PDO)I Need You... Now Go Away! offers a powerful guide to understanding and transforming your relationship and step out of harmful push-pull cycles. Whether you're struggling with a loved one's behaviour - or recognizing patterns in yourself - this book helps you make sense of what's really going on beneath the surface.๐Ÿ’ญ MYTH: "Personality disorders are frightening and negative."๐ŸŒž Truth: "PDOs are patterns of behavior that keep people at arm's length from those they care about... The difference is that people with PDOs consistently do things that disrupt their relationships, whether at home, work, or elsewhere. Their behavior gravely impacts a major area of their life." ๐Ÿ’ญMYTH: "People with personality disorders cannot be treated." ๐ŸŒž Truth: "With the right therapy, many people with PDOs are treatable. Being diagnosed with one is not a death knell. It does not have to be for life. PDOs are learned, self-protective behaviors that can be unlearned. Most of the patients I treat learn to be in healthy, even thriving, relationships."๐Ÿ’ญ MYTH: "It's impossible to have a meaningful relationship with someone with a personality disorder." ๐ŸŒž Truth: "It's a matter of addressing unconscious fears around closeness and distancing. Many of my patients improve existing relationships or enter intimate relationships for the first time. It takes awareness, willingness, diligence, trust, and support, but, in many cases, it can be done." With a foreword by bestselling author Jed Diamond (founder of The Good Men Project), Dr. Laura Dabney takes you inside the psychiatrist's office, revealing real clinical observations, treatment approaches, and practical strategies you can apply in your own life. For almost twenty-five years, Dr. Dabney has seen patients with personality disorders and has been featured in HuffPost, US News and World Report. Inside, you’ll discover:How to recognize destructive relationship patterns and interrupt themA clear, non-stigmatizing look at seven different personality disorders—beyond just narcissism, sociopathy, and borderline traitsHow people with these patterns think, feel, and behave—and whyPractical tools to rebuild trust, connection, and emotional safetyWith the right insight and guidance, you can break free from repeating cycles, build healthier connections, and finally experience the kind of lasting intimacy you've been searching for.

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